Not a creature was stirring except one very confused cat.

While Pa with his backache,

And I with my head, had just settled down 

On a strange makeshift bed. 

We’d decided to carpet all of our floors, 

Inside the closets, behind all the doors.

The hallway had cheap wood all dingy and scratched,

The kitchen as well was stained, dirty and patched. 

New wood had been ordered to cover our space, 

From kitchen to pantry and dining room place

We jammed all the stuff from all of our rooms 

Into the garage with the buckets and brooms.

While downstairs the porch was crammed to the eaves

So access was easy for neighborhood thieves. 

We had moved all these things just the night before last

And the things that we moved were both awkward and vast.  

Our muscles, preferring to stay in repose

Were not happy at all to lift weights I suppose

But at last in our pj’s we’d crept to our bed

Intending to lie there as if we were dead.

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter, 

We jumpe…hobbled slowly to the window to see what was the matter.

When what to our wondering eyes should appear

But a ragged old genie, hands clutching a beer. 

This giant old genie was covered with junk,

And he flew an old Chevy with more in the trunk!

“HO HO! said the driver your house is all bare!

What happened to all of the things that live there?

Your house is all empty, the sight makes me sick

But give me a moment and I’ll fill it up quick!”

“Oh no sir! For truly, we have many things, 

Old books, games and papers, and tables with rings.

Stuffed bears and stray cables, yarn, paints, and a shawl 

Pencils and CD’s and clothing too small

The truth is indeed we need nothing at all. 

We are hoping you see, when the workers all leave, 

To sort through our things, and we truly believe, 

If we keep what is good and throw out what is wasteful,

We’ll soon have a home that is tidy and tasteful.” 

“HA HA!” said the genie gasping with mirth. 

“That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard yet on this earth.

You two are both hopeless, it’s easy to see

You can’t tell the difference ‘tween worth and debris.”  

Well! We were offended! Just who was this pest?

But he said, “Wait one moment; I’ll give you a test. 

If you pass, I’ll drive off and you’ll see me no more, 

If you fail, then I’ll give you this junk and MUCH MORE!”

From the back of his trunk, he pulled out a case

And opened it slowly, a grin on his face.

Then up from the depths he pulled out a puzzle

And a beat-up old bear with paint on his muzzle.  

10,000 pieces! A truly rare find! 

Meanwhile, Dave patted the bear on his worn out behind. 

“Well? Said the Genie, you can have those for free. 

But if you accept them, each year you’ll see ME!”

I clutched the puzzle and Dave held the bear

After all, he just needed some love and repair.

We looked at each other and we knew without doubt,

That we’d keep these two things, but the rest, we’d throw out!

“I knew it!” said Genie, you failed the test. 

And he snorted, but we told him that WE knew the best. 

He could multiply junk as much as he could,  

WE would donate it all, we would do it we would!

Our house would be lovely with new carpet and floor, 

And we wouldn’t let things pile up as before.

“Sure, Sure,” said the genie. “Next year when I’m back

I won’t see old pictures, or books in a stack.

No games or stray knickknacks just lying about

Or pictures of Elvis with his infamous pout.”

“That’s right.” we assured him, “There’s no need to scoff.

We wish you well, but it’s time you flew off.”

“Ok,” said the genie. “I shouldn’t stay,

I’ll leave you these boxes, and get out of your way

I’ve met my match,” he said with a smirk.

Then away from our roof he flew with a jerk.

Should we open the boxes we don’t want to keep?

But what would he leave us? We’ll just take a peep.

When what to our wondering eyes should appear?

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer!

“It’s darling!” We shouted, our hearts filled with glee,

“We’ll place it, at Christmas, on top our TV!”

And MORE treasures he left us! Our souls filled with cheer.

We guess, after all, he can come back next year.

Anneli Byrd is an academic adviser in Weber State University’s General Studies and Exploratory advising.