If there’s one thing I’ve learned in nearly three decades of writing opinion pieces for the Standard-Examiner, it’s that no situation is so utterly, hopelessly and <em>totally</em> messed up that a certain half-witted columnist can’t make it much worse by ...
I’ve never put much stock in awards.Whether it’s an <a href="http://oscar.go.com/" target="_blank">Oscar</a>, a <a href="https://www.grammy.com/" target="_blank">GRAMMY</a>, a <a href="https://www.tonyawards.com/index.html" ...
<em><strong>Con·sult·ant</strong> (k?n</em> sult’nt<em>) <strong>n.</strong> A person you pay for doing the job you were supposed to be doing in the first place.</em>Nearly a ...
We really need to pace ourselves, people.Because if this is what the rest of the summer is going to be like, none of us is getting out alive.As evidenced by the listings in Friday’s GO! section — right here in the Standard-Examiner — there was a veritable buttload of stuff going on in the ...
Shazam! As if these nerds didn’t already have a hard enough time getting dates.It may be an unfair stereotype, but the enduring image of these geeks who attend comic-book conventions is that of an adult white male who still lives in his parents’ basement and couldn’t score dinner and a ...
OGDEN — Running is hard.OK, so I suppose I’ve always known this on some abstract, theoretical level. But until recently I didn’t have an actual, working knowledge of the self-evident truth.And now I do.On Saturday, this fat, aging journalist staggered through the 5K portion of the ...
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s …… Captain Casual Racist!That’s right, people. Once again, your humble, dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks columnist has voluntarily elected to wade into the turbulent waters of race in America. (And may God have mercy on my sub-50-I.Q. soul ...
It’s been an expensive week for journalists at the Standard-Examiner.Here’s just a sampling of the stuff reporters, photographers and editors ended up having to pay for in the last week or so:<strong>• Reporter Mitch Shaw</strong> had to pay for day care for ...
I always told myself that if my ship ever came in, I’d be out of the newspaper business faster than you can say “Bon voyage, suckers!”Well, guess what ...Apparently, not only has my ship come in, but at least four more of them are lined up behind it at the dock — each just begging me to ...
They’re calling it “one of the fastest growing trends in both travel and recreation.” Me? I call it just plain awkward.Apparently, the “nakation” is a thing now.At least, that’s what the <a href="https://www.aanr.com/about-aanr" target="_blank">American Association for ...
