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Standard Deviations

Teaching? Hey, it’s not rocket science

Aside from an astronaut, a rock star, and a professional athlete, there were only two things I ever wanted to do when I grew up.Write, or teach.I weighed both options back in college (the ships having long since set sail on those first three career choices) before deciding on a journalism ...

Trump’s ‘Second Amendment people’ comment was a joke

Don’t you just hate it when <a href="https://www.donaldjtrump.com/" target="_blank">Donald Trump</a> is right?Tuesday night, following a speech at a rally in Wilmington, North Carolina, Trump took to Twitter and called the media “desperate.” He’s right, you ...

Rotten to the core? Don’t get this columnist started on ‘Gomcast’

Today, I’m going to tell you a completely true story.However, as everything I am about to tell you is not only true but deeply embarrassing, the names have been changed to protect the sheepish. For purposes of this column, this happened to a friend of mine — whom we’ll call “Bob” — ...

Standard Deviations: Olympic Opening Ceremony like a bad acid trip

I’ve never taken hallucinogens.Never tried mushrooms, or LSD, or peyote, or PCP. But every other year, I get to experience what it’s like.In other words: If this is an acid flashback, it must be time for the Olympic Opening Ceremony again.Every two years, reluctant residents in some lucky ...

With recent modifications, F-35 can now fly anywhere it darn well pleases

For any number of reasons, I don’t like trash-talking the <a href="https://www.airforce.com/" target="_blank">Air Force</a>.To begin with, I’m told it’s the primary economic engine in Northern Utah, and nobody in his or her right mind bites the hand that feeds ...

30 years in the making: Mark Saal’s search for the perfect cowboy hat

My heroes have always been cowboys. And cowgirls.If I’ve had one regret over the last 30 years of covering various aspects of <a href="http://ogdenpioneerdays.com/" target="_blank">Ogden Pioneer Days</a> for the Standard-Examiner, it’s this: In all that time, I ...

Grow up, America: Trump-Pence logo no more sexually suggestive than any other

I can’t believe that I — of all people — am about to say this: Grow up, America.It is a sad day indeed when the most immature columnist this side of a high school newspaper has to be the lone adult in the room. Listen, I’m supposed to be the guy who tells the booger jokes, who makes the ...

No more Sundance? Maybe Ogden should shoot for Berlinale

“It’s not you, it’s me.”Wednesday, the <a href="https://www.sundance.org/festivals/sundance-film-festival" target="_blank">Sundance Film Festival</a> announced it was breaking up with Ogden and that it would no longer be screening films at <a ...

Dressing for success at the Box Elder County Jail

Who knew visiting the jail could be so much like attending an LDS stake dance?<a href="https://www.mormon.org/" target="_blank">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints</a>, already known for its fairly strict standards of modesty in dress and grooming, is ...