Wednesday , November 01, 2017 - 4:00 AM9 comments
I’m starting to understand the frustration felt inside the White House regarding the country’s renewed obsession with connections between the Trump campaign and Russian attempts to help the billionaire become U.S. president. It’s so bad, it’s even affecting my life.
For example: A Davis County sheriff’s deputy stopped me the other day for speeding on a surface street. He said I was doing 55 mph in an area with a posted speed limit of 35 mph.
“Listen,” I told the deputy, “you can waste your time with petty traffic enforcement if you want, but I hope you realize you’re turning a blind eye toward Hillary Clinton’s illegal use of a private email server when she was the Obama administration’s secretary of state. I can’t believe you’re ignoring that.”
Also, I’m being accused of defrauding several residents of an assisted-living center. The allegation is that I sold them worthless long-term-care insurance policies.
Whatever. The thing I’d like to know is, why aren’t prosecutors investigating the Clinton Foundation connection with Russia’s attempt to buy its way into the U.S. uranium industry? I’ve heard the rumor that Hillary Clinton, when she was at the State Department, OK’d the Russians’ 20 percent purchase of a company that mines or trades or transports or processes – or something – uranium in this country.
Please understand, I’m in no way trying to deflect attention from the charges against me. That said, I think it’s a travesty the Clintons are getting away with this treachery.
Furthermore, I know it’s controversial that another of my side businesses – creating cuddly, velvety stuffed animals filled with God’s own miracle product, asbestos – involves exploiting child labor in Singapore. But, really, is dealing with any of that more urgent than getting to the bottom of who paid for the so-called research “dossier” on candidate Trump in 2016? I don’t think so.
That report was produced, if my information is correct, by interviewing various Russians and was at least partly funded via Clinton campaign funds. Which means Democrats, not Republicans, were the Americans working with Russian agents and being traitors to our great country which, at that point in time, needed to be made great again because, you know, Obama and Clinton were in charge.
Moreover, I don’t know why anyone’s interested in my indictment for money laundering.
Cops and prosecutors think I’m washing mountains of money for drug dealers. It doesn’t add up that they’d be interested in me when it’s obvious special prosecutor Robert Mueller is hounding members of the Trump campaign and now the president’s administration because his buddy James Comey got fired.
It’s painfully clear that Mueller’s not interested in the truth. He just wants payback for his pal’s loss of employment. This is why we need to “drain the swamp” and “lock her up.”
I get it. I do. I can sympathize with President Trump. He’s doing his best – between tweets – to make Republicans happy by yanking health care away from tens of millions of deadbeats and passing tax reform that will hose all but the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans.
In other words, he’s attempting to enact the GOP political platform.
Nevertheless, Mueller and the Democrats keep on investigating what went on between Trump’s campaign, Russian hackers and other assorted weasels.
I’ll be honest with you: None of that Russia nonsense matters. It’s absolutely baffling why we aren’t still trying to get to the bottom of the deadly Benghazi attack.
Thank goodness for Fox News, which keeps beating the drum about the Clinton Machine. And the Deep State, too, which is hanging onto the Obama administration’s policies even though Trump was duly elected and is in the process of making America great again – in spite of all the fake news.
You can email Don at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter @DonPondorter.
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