What's with all these grumpy people who can't tolerate children?
My goodness, but we're becoming intolerant.
The other day I went to get my vehicle serviced. I have three small children under the age of five, so taking them with me wherever I go is often an unfortunate given.
As we waited for our car, my five-year-old and two-year-old made themselves comfortable sitting together in a chair, sharing a box of French fries. They did not yell. They did not cry. They were not pushing over tables, nor were they urinating in the corner. My kids sat there happily, chatting with each other and talking my ear off--something I have learned to lovingly tune out.
"Excuse me," said one of the ladies sitting nearby. She sounded irritated so I looked up and smiled. "I'm just going to move over there," she said. "I have my own grandkids; I get enough of this at home." She then huffed off to the other side of the store, leaving me speechless staring after her.
Well good golly, Heaven forbid people take their small children out in public. Since when did we stop exercising a little patience with each other? I was flabbergasted that someone (a previous parent at that) could be so openly rude. Like telling me she was bothered could change the situation? I felt like saying, "They've got my keys, Lady. We're just as trapped as you are."
I see this happening everywhere. Last weekend my girlfriend took her kids to the Alpine Slide in Park City. At the top of the slide, she kindly asked the attendant if he would take a photo before they made their trip down.
"What do I look like?" he said, "That's not part of my job." Right. Obviously, you're so busy guarding the top of the mountain, you can't pause to take someone's photo.
I've been ruminating about the cause of our increased lack of patience, and while I'd like to blame it on the White House, I think it goes further than that. More and more regularly, our relationships have gone digital. Whether it's a cell phone thing, or an Internet thing, we are losing our manners simply through lack of interaction.
When was the last time you had a new acquaintance to dinner? When was the last time your family sat down and actually had dinner together, period? It is our job to teach our children tolerance. How can we do that if we don't teach them to treat others with respect, starting with the ones they share a roof with.
Growing up, we were routinely exposed to people of different cultural and economic backgrounds. My dad was constantly bringing home strays. Whether they were travelers looking for a spot to park their rig for a week, or families who'd fallen on hard times and needed a roof for a month, our front door was a revolving circus.
I remember one man in particular, Bill. As a nine-year-old girl, I didn't like Bill. He had a limp that made me nervous, he smoked cigarettes, his dog was stinky, and he parked his dirty old camping trailer right outside our house.
I made it my mission to be so mean to Bill, he would decide it wasn't worth the hot showers and take his gypsie wagon elsewhere. Trust me, I might have been a kid, but kids unchecked can be pretty darn rotten.
This behavior of mine went on stealthily for a week or two, until my mother caught wind of it.
"Do you have any idea what his life has been like?" she asked me. "He's here because he's trying to turn his life around. He owes Dad money, and asked if he could work it off by helping out with the farm. What, you think that just because he doesn't have a nice house, or because he walks funny that he's not as important as you are?"
It made a big impression on me. Tolerance and patience come from interaction with people, sometimes people that have different lifestyles or cultures than our own. And sometimes, those interactions make us uncomfortable. Whether you feel irritated because of different social backgrounds or political disparities, a little kindness can go a long way.
Comments